On Getting Larger And Smaller…And Pleasing Myself

One day not too long ago I was walking toward the locker room after a good, hard workout and a gym friend of mine stopped me and said “Girl, you’re getting skinny.”  I was mildly interested since I didn’t think my physique had changed much in a while.

“Really?” I replied.

“Really…you’ve lost weight.  You need to eat a potato.”  That made me laugh and since potato chips are one of my all time favorite cheat foods I made a joke about Frank telling me it was OK to eat chips and went on my way.

Now that in and of itself wouldn’t have been at all notable except the very next day I was talking to another of my gym friends and he said “You’ve gained a little weight.  It looks good on you.  You’re looking fuller.”   I just laughed to myself.  Clearly I hadn’t changed a bit from one day to the next but in the span of 48 hours I got two unsolicited, very different assessments of my physique.  Neither one of the comments bothered or upset me.  I just found them interesting especially the contrast in opinion.

Same woman, different day?

Same woman, different day?

After 21 years of lifting I simply don’t put much stock in how other people view my physique.  I’ve learned that everyone sees through their own set of filters and what one person likes another won’t.  What one person sees when they look at you, another person won’t. It’s one of the  things I tell other women all the time.  Comments from others are interesting and you can give them a little thought but it doesn’t pay to put a great deal of stock in them.  You can’t get caught in the cycle of trying to please anybody but yourself.

Comments from others...good or bad should be taken with a grain of salt.

Comments from others…good or bad should be taken with a grain of salt.

This is one of the problems I have with the idea of physique competitions.  I’ve said over and over that they don’t suit my personality and it’s true.  I don’t want to be in a competition where I live or die according to someone else’s opinion of my body.  It’s just too subjective and you can run yourself into the ground trying to chase someone else’s ideal.  All I need is my mirror to tell me how I’m doing.  I have eyes and most importantly opinions of my own.  I choose for my judgments to come first.  I know what I like to see in a female body and I work toward that ideal.  It’s positively too muscular for some and I’m sure, too stringy for others but I chase the ideal that exists in my own mind.

The mirror is actually your friend.

The mirror is actually your friend.

When you put the opinions of others (your friends, your mother, your husband or wife) above your own you set yourself up for disappointment.  Who cares what they want if that doesn’t mesh with what makes you feel the best?  Many of my own relatives, for instance think women with muscle are decidedly “unfeminine.”  I don’t happen to agree and would be miserable if worked out as hard as I do and ended up walking around looking like thin, little ballerina…but that’s the kind of body they would most like to see.  I always politely acknowledge the comments of others and then put my head down and keep on working to please myself.  I advise you do the same!

Here I am on January 14th...looking a little thin wouldn't you say?

Here I am on January 14th…looking a little thin wouldn’t you say?

Here I am on January 14.  Looking kinda full, like I gained weight, right?

Here I am on January 14th…looking kinda full, like I gained weight, right?

22 responses

  1. Hi, what a great post. I loved it. BTW you look amazing. I am a physique competitor. I agree with what you say on letting people tell you how you look. I compete because I love the training and competing against myself. It helps me step up my game. It’s funny my weight varies from season to season based on my training some people love it when I am ripped to the core and others hate it. You just have to take opinions with a grain of salt!

    1. Well thank you…delighted that you stopped by. When you’re a competitor it’s even more important to stick to your assessments of your body. Everyone wants to see something just a little different. If you try and please everyone you end up chasing your own tail (metaphorically speaking, lol) and making little progress.

  2. Hey Doc, Your physique looks amazing as always. Your right it’s about your own perspective and being happy with yourself. If you like the way you look that’s what counts. Great attitude and blog post but I’d expect nothing less. Stay Strong!

    1. I love it when you say “Stay Strong” to me! Happy Monday TopDawg10…it’s always nice to know there’s someone out there pushing big weight like crazy…it’s hard for me to wimp out when I know you’re going hard! Wishing you a very happy Monday and a fantastic week ahead!

  3. Which ever it is……..Full or Skinny you look marvelous Darling 🙂 Have a Blessed day Lynn

    1. Thanks Mess! It was so funny how those two comments came one right after the other. Made me laugh.

  4. Well my beautiful Spider Monkey…skinny? Nah, amazing? Of course! I adore you no matter what!

    1. Now the little spider monkey is skipping around with a big smile! Happy, happy Monday Jaylicious!

  5. I don’t know that suit looks awfully show like to me. Possibly women physique. Although I get the gist, train for yourself, not what others think.

    1. See, I can wear my show suit at home…along with my clear heels and my tiara. It’s an excellent outfit for making breakfast. Lol…just not getting on stage with it. Hope you’re doing well. How are your workouts going these days?

  6. Lynn, I don’t know what those individuals were looking at but your physique look awesome and ripped..ooo la la..lol…sometime people confused ripped with weight loss. Always gorgeous my friend and that smile makes a heart melt lol…I’m melting nooooo..lol.

    1. Sweet Artie! Hi and happy Monday to you. I spent Sunday enjoying football…and eating! I’m on deck for lots of push ups today…maybe 200, maybe 150 with some abs thrown in. We shall see. Hope you have a fantastic day and a great workout next time you hit the gym!

  7. Wow, I think you look just perfect!! I can definitely relate to comments from people though. I try to just have thick skin and go forward with my goals. 😉

    1. Hi Melanie! Thank you…glad you stopped by and left me a note. You really do have to ignore a lot of what people say and just stick with working toward your own ideal. No matter what you do, some will like and appreciate it and some will not. Happy Monday…wishing you an excellent week ahead!

  8. That’s funny because I have a friend similar to your gym friend. I decided I’m not pleasing anyone at the gym, I go there to feel better and stay in shape.

    1. Yes…you really only can please yourself. I guess you know from your job how two people can see exactly the same thing but come up with vastly different stories of what happened…and both are telling the truth from their perspective. I love how you stick to your exercise routine by the way…

  9. I think you look fantastic! I’m so glad you look at yourself through your own eyes. 🙂

    1. Thank you Vinny and a very happy Monday to you. I made it through a wonderful Sunday of football without doing one single exercise and I ate the most delicious food…a real day of indulgence. Looking forward to pushing myself hard at the gym this week!

  10. Once again another great blog! I could not agree more! As for your pics, call me biased I don’t care because you my friend look amazing. Your physique exhibits beautiful symmetry with the right amount of buffness, a lovely hardbody indeed. As for the smile, it just makes my day. UROCK Lynn 🙂

    1. Hi Matt! You always say just the right thing to me. I was so interested in how two people looking at the very same thing could come up with such different opinions. Made me laugh…

  11. so true doc its all about how we want to look

    1. I think it’s so funny how two people can see the same thing so differently! You don’t have any other choice than to please yourself…otherwise you’ll go crazy!

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