Conventional wisdom says ignore negativity and in general I think that’s excellent advice. Even so, it pleased me to fashion a response to my latest bit of hate mail which was posted to my page on Bodybuilding.com last Tuesday, so that’s what I did. The following is a screenshot of the note I received.
Since you have taken time out of what I’m sure was an already busy day to write, it’s apparent you want some of my attention which, just this once, I will grant you. I’m not being facetious. What I have to say is from the heart.
First I find it odd that you wrote to me to speak for your husband and son. I’m sure they could speak for themselves if they were so inclined. I wonder if this is a habit with you? I can just imagine…”Dear Dr Brown, my husband and son just love you. They consider you the best doctor they’ve ever been to.” or “Dear Mr. Michaels, my husband and son were so frustrated when they arrived to pick up the car but had to wait an entire half hour for you to finish rotating the tires.” It seems to me that you might have a smothering type of personality which leads me to my second thought.
It’s entirely possible that your husband and son told you they think I’m a joke or made derisive comments about me if you happened upon them while they were looking at my photos. Perhaps they didn’t want to upset you or were trying to avoid an argument. It’s clear that you’re excessively possessive, easily upset and we’ve already established that you tend to smother so there is probably a fair amount of conflict avoidance going on where your family is concerned.
On the other hand, it’s certainly not out of the realm of possibility that you and your family do indeed sit around the dinner table at night and look through my gallery photos to get a good laugh. I don’t mind. I don’t take myself seriously with regard to my photos so it doesn’t bother me if you don’t either. Actually, since I get great pleasure out of spreading happiness, if I get a genuine laugh out of you, your husband or son, I’m perfectly OK with that. We all need a little more levity in our lives.
Please be aware if I’ve had any contact with your husband on Bodybuilding.com, he has invited it. Out of the 2841 friends I have on the site, I have asked approximately 20 to be my friend first and they were typically friends of friends that I ran into over and over, got to know a little and finally asked to be “official” friends. This is not a function of anything other than my rather reserved nature with people I don’t know. I’m a watcher. I tend to stand back and observe. I don’t typically initiate contact of any kind on the internet or in my daily life. It’s just the way I’m wired. I do offer genuine compliments to people here (men and women alike) when they are merited. It’s a bodybuilding site. That’s what we do…offer support, encouragement and appreciation where they are deserved.
I’m cognizant of the fact that I’m not in high school. I got out long ago, got an undergraduate degree, a Master’s degree and a PhD. I’m thankfully done with the formal part of my education.
As for being a pin up, maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I do know that I get many kind notes from people who like the military tribute photos I post. The “pin up” photos are a creative outlet for me that combine my interest in bodybuilding and photography. Those who like my photos are well aware of the fact that I’m not a model or a photographer by profession. I post military tribute/patriotic photos not because I’m a beautiful, young thing who gets paid to stand there with an American flag or an Airborne shirt, rather I’m a fellow citizen gratefully acknowledging the very hard work put in by members of our armed forces. I call them my visual thank you notes. If you don’t like them, please don’t look at them. They are my favorite kind of photo to post. Incidentally, you may be surprised to hear it but several troops have told me specifically that they have one or another of my photos on their walls so I guess maybe I am a “pin up.” Imagine that!
Let’s think this over together. I have Unidentified Perturbed Guest Woman who doesn’t enjoy my tribute/patriotic photos on one hand, and some of our nation’s finest, our Sailors, Soldiers, Airmen and Marines who are serving this country honorably, many of them in harm’s way who take the time to write and tell me they like them on the other. I presume you know who wins that battle of opinion.
Finally, as a former English teacher, I have to tell you that aside from the grammar issues I won’t delve into, your writing style is atrocious. If you want your opinion to be considered your approach would benefit from a bit more subtlety. Name calling and use of profanity is a terrible reflection on you. It indicates at best a lack of self-control (in which case you lose your argument by default) and at worst a lack of both creative imagination and intelligence. People judge you by the language you use and how you use it. As soon as you begin to punctuate your points with swear words you’re discounted as being unworthy of a response. I hope you to find a way to express yourself so you get the kind of exchanges and results you really want in your life.
Best wishes to you, your husband and your son,