Just for grins, I’ve gathered some funny quotes about exercise. I hope you enjoy them too. There’s lots of humor to be found even in things we take seriously. Everyone knows life is better with lots of laughter in it.
“I don’t mind exercise but it’s a private activity. Joggers should run in a wheel – like hamsters – because I don’t want to look at them. And I really hate people who go on an airplane in jogging outfits. That’s a major offense today, even bigger than Spandex bicycle pants. You see eighty-year-old women coming on the plane in jogging outfits for comfort. Well my comfort – my mental comfort – is completely ruined when I see them coming. You’re on an airplane, not in your bedroom, so please! And I really hate walkathons: blocking traffic, people patting themselves on the back. The whole attitude offends me. They have this smug look on their faces as they hold you up in traffic so that they can give two cents to some charity.”
― John Watters
“I know a man who drives 600 yards to work. I know a woman who gets in her car to go a quarter of a mile to a college gymnasium to walk on a treadmill, then complains passionately about the difficulty of finding a parking space. When I asked her once why she didn’t walk to the gym and do five minutes less on the treadmill, she looked at me as if I were being willfully provocative. ‘Because I have a program for the treadmill,’ she explained. ‘It records my distance and speed, and I can adjust it for degree of difficulty.’ It hadn’t occurred to me how thoughtlessly deficient nature is in this regard.”
― Bill Bryson
“I change the channel to another movie. An old one, but new to me. And, ironically, a thin, gorgeous blonde—Meg Ryan, maybe—rides her bike on a country road. She smiles like she has no cares in the world. Like no one ever judges her. Like her life is perfect. Wind through her hair and sunshine on her face. The only thing missing are the rainbows and butterflies and cartoon birds singing on her shoulder.
Maybe I should grab my bike and try to catch up with Mom, Mike, and the kids. They can’t be going very fast. I would love to feel like that, even if it’s just for a second—free and peaceful and normal.
Suddenly, there’s a truck. It can’t be headed toward Meg Ryan. Could it? Yes. Oh my God. No! Meg Ryan just got hit by that truck.
“I wasn’t particularly worried; running is overrated anyway, and sport only makes you sweaty and smug and wears out the knees.”
― Jasper Fforde
“I’ve always found exercise to be an awful hindrance to my well-being, and nature to have a stifling atmosphere. In combination they would be fatal. I do admit, though, that exercise is quite majestic when seen from a distance.”
“Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?” (Ron Alderson)
“Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.” (Charles Shultz)