The Big Squeeze

Yesterday I got two catalogues in the mail. Both were selling undergarments. One was from Victoria’s Secret and the other from a company I’ve never heard of before. As you know, Victoria’s Secret has lots of cute, flirty little things to offer, most of them designed to look best on a reasonably fit body.

The other catalogue featured undergarments for those who need extra help with shaping. The funny thing is that they used models who obviously don’t need the undergarments.

What in the word are these girls trying to hold in?  They don't exactly need these products!

What in the world are these girls trying to hold in? They don’t exactly need these products!

Imagine wearing this in August as you walk across a big, blacktop parking lot to get to your car...I'm thinking heat stroke...

Imagine wearing this under your clothes in August as you walk across a big, blacktop parking lot to get to your car…I’m thinking heat stroke…

For those of you men out there who think the undergarments in the catalogue don’t look so terrible, good news…they have “solutions” for you too!

The guys don't need to feel left out.  Here's something special just for them!

The guys don’t need to feel left out. Here’s something special just for you!

A product to help MEN hold in those tummies.  Your or white.  Personally I think black is more slimming.

A product to help MEN hold in those tummies. Your choice…black or white. Personally, I think black is more slimming.

Need a little help with a flat behind?  No need to squat, just put these "uplifting" shapers on in the morning.

Need a little help with a flat behind? No need to squat, just put on these “uplifting” shapers in the morning.  I like the wording “controls legs.”  I guess wearing the butt fluffer keeps you from performing those unintentional Ninja kicks that just happen from time to time.

Looking through both catalogues taught me something. I NEVER want to feel compelled to wear some medieval looking, fat restraining garment to help me feel better about how I look. Fat or not, there’s no possible way I’d ever resort to stuffing myself into such things. The truth is that if you feel you need to wear something displayed in that catalogue, you should consider increasing your fitness activities. It doesn’t matter if you can put something on to make the lumps and bumps look more pleasing under clothing, you still have to take the thing off when you get home for the day. It’s not a solution for lack of exercise, poor nutrition or lack of will and ultimately it’s not going to make you feel any better about yourself.

I say do your best to keep yourself in reasonable physical condition so you don’t WANT to rely on tight bodysuits to look better. Imagine how you’d feel on a hot, summer day encased in one of those things.   The very thought is enough to motivate me to go for a long run.  Suddenly, I have even more incentive to try and stay on the Victoria’s Secret side of life!


9 responses

  1. Don’t worry about me getting one… None of the male models come close to looking like me! lol Excellent message.

    1. Why thank you! Those garments look SO uncomfortable to me…just awful!

  2. Hey don’t knock the “uplifters”, I bought a pair and I wear them backwards! I am going to buy the leg torso body shapèr next…so excited, beach model physique here I come!!!

    1. Lish…you make me laugh! Good morning to you. It’s a lovely day here. I was out walking the dogs a little earlier and just had a good time being outside on such a pretty day. It was very peaceful…warm but not hot…clear and still…

  3. hahah love this post. So true, at the end of the day you have to take off those spanx and you still have the body you have. Instead of trying to trick ourselves, we should embrace our bodies and aim for a healthy lifestyle. The rest will fit into place. I got the VS catalog too and I am motivated during my long runs!

    1. I always imagine getting out of those things like a cartoon…you know, unzip and flesh pops out everywhere. It’s a funny thought in that context. I actually had a friend years ago, a rather young woman (19) and she’d wear these types of undergarments every day (not the tops but the waist to knee type). I just remember thinking how uncomfortable it must be when we were out on the yard supervising kids playing and it was HOT, HOT, HOT in the sun. She’d have them on under her jeans. She was a beautiful person, inside and out and I just wanted to tell her to forget about wearing those horrid, tight things.

      1. Hahah that is exactly what I envision. Wearing them all the time must not be good for your circulation either. I would want to feel like i could breathe! Imagine being in the sun!

  4. It’s so funny that the models that are in catalogues wearing these spanx and slimmers don’t need them in the least. I agree. Movement and clean eating goes a long way.

    1. It made me laugh to see the fit bodies they used in their advertisements. They were all in wonderful shape. The male models were quite trim and muscular..and had nice abs. Just funny…

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