We were sitting down to dinner last night and just as I was getting ready to bite into a yummy Italian sausage sandwich my youngest son, who just turned 12, started haranguing me…again.
He started out with “Mom, I want to go survival camping over Thanksgiving, by myself. I don’t want to stay out the whole time, just three days.” I said “Honey, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You don’t really have the experience you need to be successful.”
“Yes, I do. I’ve read so many survival manuals and books, I’ve watched all the episodes of Survivor Man, and most of the episodes of Man VS Wild, Duel Survival and Fat Guys in the Woods. I know what I’m doing”
“But we’re going to be in the mountains, remember? It’s going to be freezing.”
“That’s not a problem, Mom, I’ll build a fire. It’s fine. Everything will probably be covered in snow so what’s going to burn that’s not supposed to? Statistics show that winter is the best time for forest fire avoidance.”
“You’re going to get hungry, you know.”
“No I won’t. I’ll be fine. There’s plenty to eat. I can get a rabbit or squirrel and there are at least 3 kinds of edible plants up there I know about. You can eat thistle. Maybe I’ll catch a rat. They taste good, you know.”
“I’m not going to give you permission to survival camp in the snow. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal. I can just see the sheriff showing up at the door to arrest me for child neglect.”
“Mom, that’s ridiculous. The sheriff isn’t going to catch me. I know how to avoid detection. Remember all the escape and evade videos I’ve watched? I’ve read plenty about that. I’m telling you I won’t get caught. I know what I’m doing.”
This went on most of dinner. My son has a very pleasant personality but he can be doggedly persistent. He is fixated on survival techniques and is determined to put them into practice. I want to support his interest so I’m trying to get him into a class or an adult-led learning experience over the summer. That way he can pick up skills in a hands-on way and I can be more confident that he really does know what he’s doing. I figure it’s in all our best interests since sooner or later, I’m going to have to give him the green light.
As I was washing dishes I thought for a brief moment that maybe I should just go ahead and go with him for a couple of days to see how he did. I thought about having him provide dinner for us and imagined eating little spit-roasted rat bits then discarded the idea.
I decided I’m not going to go hang out in the frigid mountain air, eating what we can find on the land but it occurred to me that once he actually has some experience, perhaps we could develop a marketing plan to sell the idea to people who want to trim up over the traditional putting-on-the-pounds holiday season. After all, they’ve been able to talk people (AKA city slickers) into paying large sums to work ranches for the “authentic cowboy experience” so why wouldn’t they pay for an awesome, mountain, weight loss adventure? A couple of weeks with my son, in the clean air and unspoiled beauty of the high country…and voila! Fit and trim, guaranteed!
Do you want to change your body? Do you want to start the new year with a new physique? Do you want to transform?
Then I’ve got the plan for you! Come on up to the mountains for a couple of weeks of fun and adventure! Live off the fat of the land while enjoying the breathtaking scenery!
victims paid guests show up the trimming process can begin!
If you want to lose those unwanted pounds during the holiday season when everyone else is stacking on weight, just write a large check to Mountain Spa and Survival Adventure! You won’t be sorry!
It sounds like the perfect plan to me. The clients lose weight as promised and we make lots of money helping them reach their goals! What’s not to love?