Tag Archives: humor

Commando Man – Part two

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As you know from my post yesterday, I spent some time this weekend playing around on the internet.  I found my photo in a tattoo gallery and the caption writer was questioning whether I was a man going commando or a woman.  Apparently, it’s hard for some people to tell because I found another photo of mine posted on a different website.  The photo happened to be one of my favorites.  I was number 13 in the gallery titled, “21 American Flag Bikinis To Celebrate.”  The caption on the photo was quite nice…”Showing off the strength of America.”  What I really got a kick out of was the comment section.

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The last comment, that’s cut off in the screenshot was something like “What’s up with that dude?”  It seems the consensus was that I look like a man who maybe looks like Michelle Obama or something like that.  Was I upset?  Not at all.  I LOVE it.  I felt the same way I did when a lady asked me if I did manual labor for a living because my arms were so muscular.  I was amused…almost giddy with delight because it means my hard work is visible in the photo.  I know the aesthetic I prefer isn’t for everyone and it makes me happy to think that someone noticed the results of my dedication enough to call me “gross” or a “man.”  What’s the old expression?

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That’s right!  I must be over the target.  BRING. IT. ON.  The only bad part is that now I’m all revved up and wanting to pack more of that beautiful muscle on my frame.  My workouts have been incredible the last few days and consequently, my entire body is sore.  So sore.  If you see me hobbling down the street, I might not be able to raise my arm to wave to you but I know you’ll understand if I just smile!

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Commando Man – A Wish Come True

When you’re active on the internet, whether it’s blogging or posting on social media sites, you never know where your photos or writing will turn up.  People re-post things they find all the time so you have to be comfortable knowing your content will spread in  interesting and unusual ways.

I got all excited last weekend because as I was playing around on my Ipad I saw that one of my images was in the tattoo gallery at a place called the Tattoo Hut.  It was in a spot titled “List of Top Men Commando Tattoo Images.”  Now, I have to admit something that I have kept to myself until now.  I’ve always wanted to be a tattoo…or rather, I wanted someone to use one of my images as inspiration for a tattoo.  That might sound strange but it happens all the time.  People find ideas for new ink all over.  My interest in that type of tattoo is simply an extension of my love for the pin up genre.  True, the images people pick are often of celebrity women but there are lots of tattoos based on regular women too.

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Some are cartoon-y, some are more realistic, some are funny…and I love them all!  So I was looking forward to seeing what was in the tattoo gallery that had to do with a commando and me.

There were a total of 28 photos in the “List of Top Men Tattoo Images.”  Under the title heading was the line, exactly as written, “Here is the top Men Commando images we have.”  Because of the grammar on the site, I suspect it’s run by a non-native English speaker.  I was number 13 in the gallery.  The following are some of the other photos in the gallery with their captions.

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#2 Royal Marine Commando Dagger Tattoo First Forces…

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#16 Buff Royal Marines strip off in go commando charity calendar…

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#5 Mike Kagee fashion blog David McIntosh is a Royal Commando turned…

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#3 QOR Para Coy Tattoo

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#6 on the list

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Now for my photo – happy number 13 on the list.

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#13 Guys commando in sweats. Lady or the guy

Did you read the caption?  Did you?  That’s right.  They weren’t sure if I was a actually a woman or a man going commando in sweatpants.

No!  No! No, wish granters of the universe.  It wasn’t supposed to be me going commando, looking like a man, in a tattoo gallery.  It was supposed to be me as a tattoo on a “commando” (military/patriotic) man from America.  The basic elements were right but they were all mixed up.

I learned a valuable lesson over the weekend and I’m passing my newfound wisdom on to you.

You better be very, very specific when you wish for things!

**This post is not intended to slight the Royal Marine commandos in any way.  The very few Royal Marines I’ve had contact with were lovely but everybody knows I absolutely adore our American military men…

–Tune in tomorrow for the next installment in the Commando Man series —

 

Wait…What’s my count?

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…And that about explains my current condition!  I think my face looked just like that when I was halfway through my morning walk with the dogs and I realized that I didn’t have my Fitbit on.  Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how much I’ve come to enjoy seeing my step count at the end of each day.  I often challenge myself to see if I can go farther each week, or how high I can get the count in a single day or hour.  It’s another great way to motivate me to stretch beyond my previous boundaries.  I just can’t forget to strap it on at the start of the day!

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My favorite walking companions. We get lots of steps in together!

 

Eye Of The Beholder

One day, not too long ago, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few items.  As I got out of the car I spotted a woman with beautiful, long hair wearing a tank top going in ahead of me.  She had an amazing physique.  Her shoulders, triceps and traps were beautifully shaped…muscular and lovely.  I immediately started considering my own workouts lately.  I started regretted not lifting heavier, with more emphasis on muscle building.  My back has always been my favorite and most responsive body part to train and although I still lift diligently, I’ve not been pushing the very heavy stuff around for quite a while.  Most of the time I’m pretty satisfied with the balance I’ve been able to strike.  Although I’m not lifting super heavy I’ve still been able to maintain a little muscle mass and my joints are much happier than they used to be.

…But that woman!  Seeing her sparked that old competitive spirit that lurks inside.  I was comparing her physique to my own (both the new and the old) and watching her so intently, I wondered if she could feel me from across the parking lot.

As she turned inside the store to grab a cart, I was jolted out of my musings.  She was a HE!  The woman I’d been watching from behind was actually a man with long hair!  I had to laugh.  For years, I’ve had relatives telling me that my view of an ideal female body is skewed.  I like more muscle than they do by far.  I suppose this is one story I’ll keep to myself at family gatherings!

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Wow…that v-taper, those shoulders, the triceps!   She sure looks great from behind!

 

The Way You Make Me Feel

All veteran lifters know what it feels like to hit a personal best at the gym.  It’s just the greatest thing to meet a goal that’s been calling your name for a while!  If you want to smile, watch this video.  It’s only a few seconds long but that little baby has the spirit!

A Little Irish Blessing

 

May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night and a smooth road all the way to your door. (Irish Blessing)

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An Irish Blessing…that’s how I think of my sister.  When I was 5, I wanted a sister more than anything in the world.  I’d been begging my mom and dad to bring a baby girl into our lives for years.  That was easier said than done since my parents could not have biological children.  They’d adopted me and we were a happy little family of three but I really wanted to be a family of four.

One day my parents told me the news I’d been waiting to hear for so long.  I was going to have a sibling!  They explained that they couldn’t pick if it would be a boy or girl, it was going to be a surprise when the baby was born.  In my confident 5 year old way, I said that if it was a boy, I’d still love him but I just KNEW it was going to be a girl.  Since I was so sure, I set about thinking of a name for her.  I thought of a good first name for her and then I picked Aileen for her middle name.  Aileen was the name of a good friend of mine and it was a name I thought would be fitting for my new baby sister since her ancestry was both Irish and African.

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My little sister at about 3 or 4 years old

Now that we’re all grown up with children of our own, I always think of her on St. Patrick’s Day and smile!

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My sister and I on a boat ride in Hong Kong.  I was in college and  I think my sister was still in high school.  

Incidentally, I saw a leprechaun today at the grocery store…I swear!  I even got a photo of him so you’d know I was telling the truth.

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This leprechaun was at my local grocery store.  I can tell by his face he was up to mischief!

 

Day Without A Woman

Today is International Women’s Day.  In order to properly celebrate groups across the United States are sponsoring A Day Without A Woman.  The celebration is supposed to involve ladies withdrawing from their regular activities at work and home in order to show the rest of society how important their role is and how they need more appreciation.  Not only aren’t you supposed to go to work you’re not supposed to shop either.  I think they made an exception for shopping at female-owned businesses but obviously, those would likely be closed for the day since the owner should be leaving her usual responsibilities to make a point about how important she is to the proper functioning of society.

Let’s see.  Women are supposed to leave men alone AND not shop?  This sounds like something a man made up doesn’t it?  It’s clearly a trick and the celebrants have been had!  The secret name for A Day Without A Woman is Men’s Freedom Day! 

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I can’t believe they fell for it! See ya ladies!

Men are free from henpecking, nagging and whining for a full day. Sounds like party time to me!

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She won’t be home for HOURS!

Plus, you know darn well, when those women decide to come back home, their husbands and sons are going to be having a great time lolling about in their sweats, watching action movies with their feet up on the coffee table with pizza boxes and soda cans strewn all about…happy as clams!

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Mommy’s gone for a while. We can be ourselves. Hop up on the table and let’s beat the drum!

Seriously ladies, If you’re an American and you think you need to participate in a Day Without A Woman event, may I suggest you need to do some intensive soul searching. If you don’t feel appreciated and you’re not being paid what you should be for the work you do, you’re hanging around the wrong people…and you need to go get yourself a new job.

Resolutions for 2017

I’ve learned over the years not to bite off more than I can chew when it comes to making resolutions for the New Year.  I make a couple small promises to myself but I see to it that they are attainable and that I’m really motivated to follow through. 

The first of my two resolutions for 2017 is simply a continuation of one I started decades ago and that’s to keep myself in shape.  Now, that covers a lot of territory.  It means I commit to doing what it takes to stay strong and physically capable.  I have to combine resistance training, cardio and good nutrition to see that I end each year in acceptable condition. 

This January I’m excited to try adding some time on my Total Gym.  I bought the thing on deep discount after watching the infomercial (for the umpteenth time).  Susceptibility to the lure of infomercials would also explain why there’s a Vitamix in my kitchen (I use it all the time), a body blade in my family room (I’m not even going to try and explain that one) and Wen hair care products in my bathroom  (they work great, by the way).

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This is my new fitness friend. I’m looking forward to using it at home.

My second resolution is to make sure I read more widely.  Despite the fact that I was a Literature major in my undergraduate days, I have many books I should have read, that I somehow missed.  I’m going to add two additional books per month to augment my regular reading material.  A couple of days ago I was looking over the Kindle options for some new titles.  I happened upon a free WhisperSync version of Call of the Wild by Jack London.  WhisperSync books include an audio component so that you can read it yourself in the traditional way or you can listen to someone else, a narrator, read it to you.  Call of the Wild is one of those books, I thought I should know, that I just never got around to reading so I figured I could listen to it while on the rowing machine.  Great idea…awful choice of books….I’m not going to be able to add it to my “books-I-have-read category.” 

The first couple of chapters concentrate on terribly cruel treatment of dogs by miserable, mean people.  The last thing that happened, right before I turned the narration off for good was a Husky pack attack on a single, female dog.   Blood, ripped flesh, entrails and death…needless to say, it was not relaxing and I certainly didn’t find it entertaining. 

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THESE are the type of Huskies I want to think about…sweet and adorable…

Just like I learned over the years not to eat things I don’t like the taste of in the quest for a fit, lean body and I also learned not to waste time reading books or watching movies that don’t fulfill the purpose I assigned them before starting them.  I’ve read plenty of unpleasant things in my lifetime but I don’t do it for entertainment.  Yeah, yeah, I know it probably gets better as you go along and culminates in the triumph of human and/or dog spirit but, no thanks.

Next time, I’ll try To Kiss a Rouge or Secrets of a Scandalous Bride.

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I should read this…it definitely looks entertaining and judging from the cover might even include some workout or fitness tips. This muscled up warrior obviously keeps himself in great shape. Hair looks good too…He just might be a Wen customer.

Wishing you a safe and happy New Year’s Eve.  We’ve got a brand new year on tap with wonderful possibilities ahead.  Let us lift a glass to each other and jump into 2017 with anticipation of great things to come!

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The Bad Maid (#6)

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Oh, I love cocktail parties. I have to make SURE the champagne is fit to serve the guests!

This concludes the Bad Maid series of photos.  Wishing you a safe and happy Halloween night.  Be safe and have fun!

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The Bad Maid (#4 and #5)

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Important things first. How do I look this morning?

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Ironing is SO boring. Good thing I can multi-task. Wait, what’s that awful burning smell?

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