Tag Archives: humor

The Way You Make Me Feel

All veteran lifters know what it feels like to hit a personal best at the gym.  It’s just the greatest thing to meet a goal that’s been calling your name for a while!  If you want to smile, watch this video.  It’s only a few seconds long but that little baby has the spirit!

A Little Irish Blessing

 

May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night and a smooth road all the way to your door. (Irish Blessing)

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An Irish Blessing…that’s how I think of my sister.  When I was 5, I wanted a sister more than anything in the world.  I’d been begging my mom and dad to bring a baby girl into our lives for years.  That was easier said than done since my parents could not have biological children.  They’d adopted me and we were a happy little family of three but I really wanted to be a family of four.

One day my parents told me the news I’d been waiting to hear for so long.  I was going to have a sibling!  They explained that they couldn’t pick if it would be a boy or girl, it was going to be a surprise when the baby was born.  In my confident 5 year old way, I said that if it was a boy, I’d still love him but I just KNEW it was going to be a girl.  Since I was so sure, I set about thinking of a name for her.  I thought of a good first name for her and then I picked Aileen for her middle name.  Aileen was the name of a good friend of mine and it was a name I thought would be fitting for my new baby sister since her ancestry was both Irish and African.

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My little sister at about 3 or 4 years old

Now that we’re all grown up with children of our own, I always think of her on St. Patrick’s Day and smile!

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My sister and I on a boat ride in Hong Kong.  I was in college and  I think my sister was still in high school.  

Incidentally, I saw a leprechaun today at the grocery store…I swear!  I even got a photo of him so you’d know I was telling the truth.

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This leprechaun was at my local grocery store.  I can tell by his face he was up to mischief!

 

Day Without A Woman

Today is International Women’s Day.  In order to properly celebrate groups across the United States are sponsoring A Day Without A Woman.  The celebration is supposed to involve ladies withdrawing from their regular activities at work and home in order to show the rest of society how important their role is and how they need more appreciation.  Not only aren’t you supposed to go to work you’re not supposed to shop either.  I think they made an exception for shopping at female-owned businesses but obviously, those would likely be closed for the day since the owner should be leaving her usual responsibilities to make a point about how important she is to the proper functioning of society.

Let’s see.  Women are supposed to leave men alone AND not shop?  This sounds like something a man made up doesn’t it?  It’s clearly a trick and the celebrants have been had!  The secret name for A Day Without A Woman is Men’s Freedom Day! 

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I can’t believe they fell for it! See ya ladies!

Men are free from henpecking, nagging and whining for a full day. Sounds like party time to me!

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She won’t be home for HOURS!

Plus, you know darn well, when those women decide to come back home, their husbands and sons are going to be having a great time lolling about in their sweats, watching action movies with their feet up on the coffee table with pizza boxes and soda cans strewn all about…happy as clams!

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Mommy’s gone for a while. We can be ourselves. Hop up on the table and let’s beat the drum!

Seriously ladies, If you’re an American and you think you need to participate in a Day Without A Woman event, may I suggest you need to do some intensive soul searching. If you don’t feel appreciated and you’re not being paid what you should be for the work you do, you’re hanging around the wrong people…and you need to go get yourself a new job.

Resolutions for 2017

I’ve learned over the years not to bite off more than I can chew when it comes to making resolutions for the New Year.  I make a couple small promises to myself but I see to it that they are attainable and that I’m really motivated to follow through. 

The first of my two resolutions for 2017 is simply a continuation of one I started decades ago and that’s to keep myself in shape.  Now, that covers a lot of territory.  It means I commit to doing what it takes to stay strong and physically capable.  I have to combine resistance training, cardio and good nutrition to see that I end each year in acceptable condition. 

This January I’m excited to try adding some time on my Total Gym.  I bought the thing on deep discount after watching the infomercial (for the umpteenth time).  Susceptibility to the lure of infomercials would also explain why there’s a Vitamix in my kitchen (I use it all the time), a body blade in my family room (I’m not even going to try and explain that one) and Wen hair care products in my bathroom  (they work great, by the way).

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This is my new fitness friend. I’m looking forward to using it at home.

My second resolution is to make sure I read more widely.  Despite the fact that I was a Literature major in my undergraduate days, I have many books I should have read, that I somehow missed.  I’m going to add two additional books per month to augment my regular reading material.  A couple of days ago I was looking over the Kindle options for some new titles.  I happened upon a free WhisperSync version of Call of the Wild by Jack London.  WhisperSync books include an audio component so that you can read it yourself in the traditional way or you can listen to someone else, a narrator, read it to you.  Call of the Wild is one of those books, I thought I should know, that I just never got around to reading so I figured I could listen to it while on the rowing machine.  Great idea…awful choice of books….I’m not going to be able to add it to my “books-I-have-read category.” 

The first couple of chapters concentrate on terribly cruel treatment of dogs by miserable, mean people.  The last thing that happened, right before I turned the narration off for good was a Husky pack attack on a single, female dog.   Blood, ripped flesh, entrails and death…needless to say, it was not relaxing and I certainly didn’t find it entertaining. 

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THESE are the type of Huskies I want to think about…sweet and adorable…

Just like I learned over the years not to eat things I don’t like the taste of in the quest for a fit, lean body and I also learned not to waste time reading books or watching movies that don’t fulfill the purpose I assigned them before starting them.  I’ve read plenty of unpleasant things in my lifetime but I don’t do it for entertainment.  Yeah, yeah, I know it probably gets better as you go along and culminates in the triumph of human and/or dog spirit but, no thanks.

Next time, I’ll try To Kiss a Rouge or Secrets of a Scandalous Bride.

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I should read this…it definitely looks entertaining and judging from the cover might even include some workout or fitness tips. This muscled up warrior obviously keeps himself in great shape. Hair looks good too…He just might be a Wen customer.

Wishing you a safe and happy New Year’s Eve.  We’ve got a brand new year on tap with wonderful possibilities ahead.  Let us lift a glass to each other and jump into 2017 with anticipation of great things to come!

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The Bad Maid (#6)

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Oh, I love cocktail parties. I have to make SURE the champagne is fit to serve the guests!

This concludes the Bad Maid series of photos.  Wishing you a safe and happy Halloween night.  Be safe and have fun!

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The Bad Maid (#4 and #5)

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Important things first. How do I look this morning?

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Ironing is SO boring. Good thing I can multi-task. Wait, what’s that awful burning smell?

The Bad Maid (#3)

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“Sure, I can talk. They won’t be home for hours. Did you catch the Soap Opera yesterday?  That Dr. Johnson sure is dreamy.”

 

The Bad Maid (#2)

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I’ll get back to work…right after I finish reading this magazine!

Little Miss Impatient

There were times my mom called me Little Miss Impatient when I was a child.  It’s true, I wasn’t that good at waiting although I got much better as I grew up.  Nevertheless, when I start a new rotation in my exercise plan, I want quick results!  I started one of Jim Stoppani’s plans and I’m now on week 7.  I do see some changes in my physique.  I’m tighter, significantly stronger, the striations in my chest are showing more prominently and my muscles are starting to appear more full.  BUT NOT FULL ENOUGH!

Yes, I’ll admit I’m impatient when waiting for results…but I also know I’m not the only one!

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The Bad Maid (#1)

Fall is my favorite season and it’s here full force.  I love the cooler weather, the colors of the season, comfort foods bubbling on the stove and of course, the fall holidays.  I generally start decorating for Halloween on September 15th…for the children.  It’s for the children!

I picked my  costume early, then had the bright idea to create a thematic series of photos featuring it.  I call them my Bad Maid photographs.  They crack me up because the remind me of my youth.

My mom worked full time.  She was a chemist and very active in the community so she was quite busy.  She relied on my sister and I to do our share of the housework.  Sadly, as a teenager I wasn’t the best cleaner in the world.  As a matter of fact, it would be accurate to say I was often quite lazy.  I rarely did an excellent job, so the Bad Maid is, in an amusing way a real reflection of myself during those years.  When it was my turn to clean, I’d always do the vacuuming correctly (but I wouldn’t move the furniture to get underneath it) since you could see clear evidence if I did a shoddy job.  I knew my mom would know if I didn’t do that job reasonably well.  I couldn’t hide it.  However, when it came to dusting, I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t lift a finger.  I’d wait until right before my mom came home and spray Lemon Pledge into the air so it would smell like I’d actually done some work.

I’m sorry now that I wasn’t more helpful at that time in my life.  Believe me, I bet my mom laughs from above when she sees me fussing at my boys for things like dumping dirt out of their shoes in the downstairs hallway (and then leaving the shoes there so I trip over them), tracking mud through my freshly mopped kitchen or finding a giant bucket full of little yellow BB’s spilled all over the carpet.

In the spirit of Halloween, and my misspent youth, I present the first of the Bad Maid photos.

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Who needs a dustpan?

 

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